1,000 Ways (for Your Summer Plans) to Die

God and I have this little joke these days regarding my summers. It goes something like this: I apply for only one program and tell God to call me there. I explain to Him that the program fits in perfectly with the plan He has for me and even makes His job of planning my future really easy. Months later, He tells me that He is not calling me to follow my plans, and I get a nice little rejection letter from my program of choice. I'm upset--not at Him but at myself--for awhile before I get back up, accept that He has something even better planned for me that He planned out without my feeble attempts to help, and look around like a newly born giraffe for options.

I feel like my promise to go wherever God calls me has become a punch line in my life. I make that promise to God and then inform Him where He's calling me. Then I have to make the promise all over again without attaching any strings. God, I will go wherever You call me...seriously, wherever.

Last year, it was SummerSalt. I prayed that God would call me there, and when He didn't, I ended up in Honduras. (See for how God not only did incredible things last summer in Honduras but is also continuing to use me to serve His people in Honduras.)

This year, it was the Critical Language Scholarship. I applied to study Hindi in Jaipur, India, through a fully government funded program for the entire summer. What could be better than God using the U.S. government to fund a future missionary's studies? Well, apparently something. I don't know what, but there is something better awaiting me. Anyway, I got my rejection email and just didn't understand. I told God that He'd missed His opportunity, that I'd made it so easy for Him and He had let my plans fall flat. Ha. My plans always fall flat. Thank goodness!

My college Sunday School class used to go through passages in the New Testament, always asking three different questions: What does this tell us about God? What does this tell us about Jesus? What does this tell us about the disciples? We usually answered the last question with something along the lines of, "They're dumb." Yes, the disciples had some serious dumb moments. They were walking alongside Jesus and following Him on such a literal level that I often find myself jealous of their position. But they were also human. And as humans, we do dumb things. If you want to argue this statement, let me direct you to that television show "1000 Ways to Die." It so gruesomely screams examples of dumb humans. Seriously, what were they thinking?

Seriously, what was I thinking?

I spent two days after picking myself back up completely set on India. I was going to India, darn it, and I would do something even more incredible. My dad and I had a little reality check moment, though, where I realized options were good. I was so open to options that I even considered applying for a SURF grant in biology to do experiments this summer. The way I saw it, I could be a light shining anywhere and I might as well try something completely new while I was at it. I'm just not very good at shades if gray...there's really no in-between for me. Since I really needed to find an in-between as far as no options versus infinite options go, I settled on applying again to work at a summer camp while also pursuing another route to India.

Camp Longridge: a Christian summer camp for older kids and youth where I would spend a full, intense summer living with and pouring into the campers.

India: an enormous country that has fascinated me for quite some time now where I could do anything a missionary could hook me up with...and maybe then some.

And don't forget to do good and share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God. Hebrews 13:16

Because I want to do good and share with those in need, I applied for Camp Longridge and requested help from a former Journeyman in India. In the craziest, fastest turn of events I have ever experienced, I got my application and three references in to the good people at Camp Longridge and got the email address of a young missionary in India. Before I knew it, I had an interview with Longridge and had sent an email to this young career M...

...

Sorry. I promise I'm not building suspense just for you. It's for me, too. I don't know how this one ends, yet. Everything happened so quickly once I got the ball rolling, but now I'm waiting. Waiting...and praying...and waiting...and reading Not for Sale...and writing blogposts...and waiting.

And I'm enjoying God's little punch line for the second time regarding my summers: 

"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

So now regarding the title of this post: "1,000 Ways for (Your Summer Plans) to Die." Just make 1,000 of your own plans and tell God what they are. Yeah. It'll go over really well.

TO BE CONTINUED.

I'm Going to Honduras...Again!

Good things come to those who eavesdrop.


Ok maybe not. But I did learn in my Fiction Writing class that Wikipedia, staring, and eavesdropping are three best friends for writers (I also learned that creativity arrives through discipline and that I know nothing). Usually when I eavesdrop, I hear random college chatter that doesn't mean much to me. But over 6 months ago I overheard some seriously important information...I was gathered around a bonfire on Seabrook Island with several of my fellow Bonners and our director. As smoke bit at my eyes, I heard something like this:

Yeah, we're going to try to do two Maymester trips this year. One will be to wherever the student leaders choose and the other is going to Honduras. 

How do you already know that one is going to Honduras? 

Dr. Folds-Bennett and Mary Pat are planning that one. Dr. Folds-Bennett has worked with an organization in Honduras before so they'll be working with that NGO. 

Is there a student trip leader for that one yet?

The last question was actually mine. It was one of those moments where your voice speaks without your permission. But I managed to insert myself into the conversation just long enough to hear all the details that had been established so far before I raced up the dark path to the cabins where we were staying. I grabbed my cell phone off my bed and immediately called my parents. If there was an opportunity to go back and work with LAMB (the organization Dr. Folds-Bennett has experience with and the very one I spent three weeks with last summer), I wanted to jump on it fast. I remember standing on the porch of my cabin in the sticky evening air, pacing up and down as I related the details to both my mom and my dad.


What has now become "Honors in Honduras," was once just an idea of a new model where the Center for Civic Engagement pairs up with the Honors College at College of Charleston. Why Honduras? Simply for the reason that Dr. Folds-Bennett (henceforth known as "TFB") had connections there.


I didn't actually agree to be the student leader until I was on the Alternative Break trip leaders retreat. Everyone paired up for spring break trips and the other maymester, and it was apparent to everyone except me that I would be the student leader for the Honduras trip. I may have just agreed by default. I wasn't sure I wanted to go back to Honduras because it was such a hard trip for me, but I certainly didn't want to pass up an incredible opportunity just because my last trip there wasn't bump-free.


So last Wednesday we had our first class...
It was such a strange feeling to sit in a circle (it was more of a rectangle really) and discuss Latin American history and U.S. foreign policy with TFB, Mary Pat, and the other eight students going on the trip with me. All eight students had been through an application and interview process, where the most we could tell them about what we'd be doing in Honduras was that we were waiting for the team at LAMB to decide for us. We were trying to live the asset-based community development model...this is a hard thing to do when you're trying to plan both a class and a three week trip.


After finalizing our team, we started having weekly meetings to discuss fundraisers, practice Spanish conversation, talk about the alt break components (drug- and alcohol-free, diversity, education, orientation, training, reflection, reorientation, strong direct service), and prepare for an intense honors course in community-based research where we would learn the ins and outs of NGOs, program management, Honduran politics, capacity building for projects, and asset-based community development. Eventually, we will put together an entire project to execute while in Honduras working with LAMB based on what they tell us is their area of need.


That's a lot of technical words, I realize.


All of this is to say that since August, this idea has been unfolding, and now it's happening. It's exciting. It's terrifying (I'm taking eight girls to Honduras for three weeks?!?). It's oddly surreal.

I think about the time I had getting to Honduras last year. It was so last minute and there were so many weeks where I just really didn't know if I was going to be able to go. I took a lot of blind steps, and God showed up in awesome ways to get me there. And now I have the opportunity to go back and to take other CofC students--some who are believers and others who aren't--to this place where God is so real. Again, it's surreal. And I am honored to be a part of it all.